By: Morin Mawhinney

In a recent article published by Maclean’s, they ranked Canada’s 47 Top Party Schools. You’ll all be happy to know our own UPEI came in at #21. That’s a reasonably respectable position, isn’t it? For the party animals out there, you can hold your head high with the knowledge that UPEI is within the Top 25; if you’re not the partying type, take comfort in the fact we were mid-way down the line. It’s a totally lit happy-medium.

That being said, maybe we should dig a little deeper into Maclean’s ranking credibility before we go out and celebrate (with a party, obviously). I’d like to know how they got their information, and what methods they used to calculate the approximate number of hours partying?

Taking into consideration that according to this list that, we spend approximately 3.15 hours a week raving around, we have to ask what were the prerequisites that defined a party as an official “UPEI Party?” Does that figure include just the pubs? The pubs and res-parties? Or the pubs, res-parties, parties put on by sports teams, or just any party that has over 20 UPEI students in attendance? Within those parameters, I can almost 100% guarantee that there are more than three hours of partying happening on any given Friday night, let alone a whole week.

If we scoot down to the bottom of the list, apparently #45, #46 and #47 spend less than two hours a week at parties. That means those poor suckers either have enough time to show up, drink up and get busted up weekly, or have one absolute blowout around every month and a half. Does that sound likely? I don’t think so.

For a moment, though, let’s assume these figures are spot on; how did they even collect this data? Was there an undercover Maclean’s journalist who went to university party after university party in a like a real life reenactment of 23 Jump Street? How did we miss that? Or was there a survey sent out to all Canadian universities? Because I definitely missed that.

All this being said, maybe we shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Afterall, #21 is a number we can all be proud of. Maybe we should just make some signs so that when CBC inevitably comes to cover Canada’s 21ist party school in action, we can cheer in the background, “NUMBER 21, BABY, NUMBER 21!”

photo credits: UPEI SU