Submitted by: Camille Scherger
March 13th, 2020 had been circled on my calendar for over 6 months. It was my team’s first game of the
women’s hockey national championships and something that we had been working towards the last few
years. Opportunities to compete against the best teams in the country for a national title do not come
often, in fact I would say it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it was ripped from our grasp in only a
few hours. The emotions I felt after we found out the tournament was cancelled was complete anger and
heartbreak but most of all uncertainty. Something so drastic to shut down the whole world how could it be
possible? And why did it have to happen then? The tournament had already started. All our families had
travelled far and wide to watch us live out our childhood dreams; it should have been the greatest five
days of our lives. So many questions and no one to answer them. Being from Alberta I hadn’t seen my
parents in months and the first night I was with them my mom held me tight as I cried myself to sleep.
The waves of sadness continued over the next few weeks. I packed up and moved home with barely
enough time to say goodbye to my teammates. No closure to a season, it had left all of our hearts ripped
agap.
Going home in such a rush was a whirlwind of emotions and I was still in a state of anger and dipped into
a mild depression. It wasn’t until I got home I realized I needed time to mourn this loss. Being home with
my family was the best thing for me and I was able to completely let go. My mind and body were so
confused about what was going on, the months leading up to nationals I was constantly on the go being
active physically, mentally and emotionally but I truly believe that going home I was able to connect back
with the spiritual aspect of my life, something that I had never really balanced until then. Once we did our
isolation it was safe enough for my family and I to head North to our cabin at Loon Lake Saskatchewan
on the Makwa Sahgaiehcan reserve. We have had our family cabin on the lake for almost 7 years now and
this was the first time I was ever there in the spring because I was always busy with school and hockey. It
was the most calming, cleansing experience. It rejuvenated me back to my happy easy going self. The
first week we were there my family made a pact we would shut off our phones during the day to actually
enjoy the beauty around us. The lake and town gets very busy during the summer but this time of year it
was so isolated and quiet it was eerily beautiful. Every morning we would take my dog for a walk and
visit and much like how these stories of self are helping us come to terms with our experiences during the
pandemic I think the daily walks helped my family grow a bond that will last a lifetime. Being a high
level athlete this was truly the first time that I relaxed and let go of any thoughts of training and it is
something that I plan on doing each year now because it made me crave the game and fuelled me once I
began training again.
When we returned back to my hometown only an hour south of the cabin, I needed something to keep
busy and there had already been rumblings that our season was going to be cancelled this year so I knew I
needed to find a hobby. I really went outside of my comfort zone and set a goal to run a half marathon in
October. I didn’t mind running when I was younger but I knew if I was going to commit to this goal I
would need to dig deep and push myself. It’s weird to say but my brain went into this zen like state when I
was running, I had never experienced this before and it was like therapy for me. On October 19 I ran the
21.2km here on PEI with my best friend and it was truly an emotional experience that I will cherish
forever. I know I would have never ran a half marathon if it weren’t for this pandemic so for that I am
very grateful because I was able to broaden my horizons and find a new passion.
This past year was a rollercoaster for me but the worst part of it all was losing one of my closest
childhood friends in June due to a motor biking accident. I have experienced losing loved ones close to
me but this one was so different, he was so young and full of life and it was taken from him so suddenly.
Due to Covid restrictions the funeral was very small which made things even tougher but I was so
honoured to go and be there for his family who live right down the street from us. My friend Anthony will
always hold a place in my heart and when I ran my half marathon I wore a pair of his favorite vans socks
that his mom gave to all his friends.
By writing this past year on paper it has really helped me reflect because I hadn’t actually taken the time
to understand how much I had been through. I have never been this vulnerable with my thoughts and
feelings before and this is how I know I have grown this past year. I have realized that although hockey is
so important to me there are other aspects in my life that I need to balance and the pandemic helped me do
this. The beautiful quietness of nature, reconnecting with my family, finding a new passion and coming to
terms with how precious life truly is, are the things I learned about myself in less than 365 days, pretty
amazing if you ask me.
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