Brilliant Brain Battle
“I’m Salsabil, a 20-year-old Egyptian exchange student majoring in English at UPEI. I am absolutely in love with art and nature. When I visualize how I want my life to pan out, I picture a writer living in a different country every few months (or years). I picture myself soaking in all the available nature the world has to offer. I picture myself absorbing the beauty of our creations and art. Sharing my art with others is, in my opinion, a step towards that life, right? Besides, isn’t the idea of allowing others to interpret, relate to, and understand your art one of the beauties of life? Personally, I think that if there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something (yes, it’s a Before Sunrise reference).”
As I sit down to write this piece, I have one main thing in mind: standing out with a bright speck amidst all the “normal” in the world. As my hand gets arched like a fist around my black rollerball in the millionth attempt to articulate my thoughts and feelings, I have one main thing in mind: how can I be unique? I can tell myself I don’t want to stand out, but I’d be a liar.
Anxious, nervous, and on edge, my brain keeps trying to come up with a writing prompt that has NEVER been done before, but that is just far-fetched, right?
In a world where there are almost 8 billion people, it is statistically absurd to have it even cross my mind that I could potentially be different from everyone, or even from those around me in my limited circle. It is statistically absurd to merely think that there is a topic out there that has NEVER been talked about. While it is true that no one else has written this piece but me, that does not mean it is groundbreaking. Nevertheless, my brain has the audacity to think that it is, in fact, groundbreaking, sensational, and inspiring. Deep inside my heart, I know that nothing could be further from the truth. For as long as I can remember, I have detached my body from the world to immerse myself in a deep, long-lasting slumber-except I’m awake. Pacing around the room and going back and forth, I become a world-renowned actress, singer, teacher-you name it. If I’ve ever fallen deep for you, chances are I’m impressing you in my brain. How am I impressing you? It’s simple: I’m unique.
I stand out, or at least that’s what my brain likes to believe. Writing this essay, my brain is talking to me, doing its utmost to distract me from pouring my heart and soul into this by going into a profound daydream.
Obviously, my brain lacks the wits; it’s capable of little more than its romantic imaginations. Whenever my brain is able to pull itself out of its king-sized bed-albeit groggily-and starts getting down to its excruciating business of planning, generating, processing, comprehension, and speaking, it begins to increase its workload by considering how my word(s) could be awe-inspiring, all the while my whole existence is nothing more than a speck of dust in a Brobdingnagian universe that I-and no one-can even come close to.
We cannot compete with it, or at least I cannot compete with all the actual great brains that do not get diverted with unnecessary daydreams about being a speck of light in the darkness taking over the world; in a way, I envy these great brains, but are they even real? What if we don’t need “distinctiveness”? Although I’ve always firmly believed that everyone has their own inner spark that could set them apart from everyone, I’m starting to think that this is nonsense. We don’t need to stand out. Our brains long for and are desperately crying out for a break-or a reset if I’m being real. They are begging us to slap our bodies back to reality and asking us to listen to our inner children and teenagers. In a way, our innocent, pure inner children feel scared to death in our bodies, and they manifest that in diverse ways, like an intense maladaptive daydream (in my case) that my brain has not pressed pause on for years on end now. I’ve been watching the same daydream over and over again. More accurately, I’ve been directing and acting out the same daydream for years on end, and what good are you if you ignore your warning cue?
Let’s go easier on ourselves and our inner children and teenagers; we really need it! 🙂
By Salsabil Mohammed Said