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How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse on Campus

By Rayyan Ramjan

Now now, I know you dear reader are thinking, “Why the hell have I not thought about the possibility of a zombie outbreak at UPEI?” I mean we university students bear a strange semblance to zombies — overly tired bags of flesh trudging from class A to B to C then dragging ourselves to a dead-beat job, fueled only by hunger and fear. Jokes aside, how should we handle such a serious and realistic situation?

What would be the most important things to consider during such an apocalypse?

a. Food and Water 
I bet you wouldn’t have guessed that one.
b. Medical Supplies
Well in case you get a boo boo, big or small.
c. Weapons
A bat for zombies and a gun for bigger zombies.
d. Entertainment
You should make surviving fun or else what are you doing?


Green: Food Blue: Water Purple: Medical Supplies Yellow: Tools

From my little masterpiece, you can identify where on campus to find and gather your basic survival needs. There are only two places that I think would serve as the ultimate safehouses: 

  1. Robertson library is the better location in my opinion; having the café as a bunker, plus it’s near to the medical supplies in the AVC, the food bank in Chaplaincy Centre and the pantry from the dining hall.  
  2. The Chi-Wan Young Sports Centre could be argued to be better; the water from the pools, you could get useful tools from the gym or security services buildings, and Subway’s pantry.  

Additional tips:
-Cardio
-Fill all available containers with water, dump all soda, water is key.
-The plants and seeds from building 28 could provide a sustainable supply of food.
-You`ll hold your own better with a bat than a gun unless you are the next Deadshot.
-Cardio
– Nick the booze from The Fox and Crow
-Did I mention cardio? 

Good luck and happy hunting!
 

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