The Cadre | UPEI

This Was The Moment Pitbull Truly Became President

After numerous failed attempts at overhauling the healthcare system that has drawn the ire of advocacy groups and celebrities alike, it’s clear why the American people have lost faith in the federal government. However, it appears that the executive branch has just made a huge move that is sure to improve their perception among voters.

Numerous sources are now reporting that President Pitbull has sent his private plane to storm-ravaged Puerto Rico to bring cancer patients to mainland USA for critical medical care.

Wow, talk about a way to win over the American public on health care!

The Cadre reached out for a comment. In a written statement, Pitbull, who is also known for his music career, said “I’m happy to do my part. MR. WORLDWIDEEEEE!”

Pundits from across the political spectrum unanimously agreed that it was a powerful gesture in a time of need. “After months in office without a clear accomplishment, this was Pitbull’s most presidential moment yet,” said CNN commentator Mike Burton. “If he can keep this up, he’ll be president for eight years.”

No matter how you feel about President Pitbull or his music, you have to admit he completed one of the most selfless and extraordinary acts you will ever see in American politics. Cheers to you, Mr. Worldwide!


By: Nathan Hood


This is a part of The Cadre’s Humour section.