Stephen Harper Increasingly Nervous As Conservatives Fail to Notice Disguise

AFP PHOTO / BEN STANSALL

OTTAWA – Stephen Harper has become increasingly nervous as conservatives continually fail to recognize that he is still the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, according to sources close to the situation.

The sources state that Harper had successfully managed to enter and win the Conservative leadership race by using advancements in makeup, an advanced facial technique known as smiling, and a pseudonym.

“I thought it would be a funny prank,” said Harper, who has spent the past five months disguised as a man named Andrew Scheer. “But I still can’t believe that conservatives haven’t figured it out.”

Although media pundits had correctly identified the “new” leader of the Conservative Party as “Harper with a smile,” this observation was immediately rebutted by the conservative faithful, who labeled it “fake news.”

“I don’t know how long I can keep doing this,” added Harper, noting that being a completely different person in public and in private was “especially difficult.”

By: Nathan Hood